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Bad Boys, Badder Girls, and An Ugly View Of Life
Posted by socon on October 7, 2007
Women’s attraction to “jerks” and “bad boys” is a well-known occurrence. You know… that phenomenon where all the pretty (and not-so-pretty) women run after the 5% of guys who are unemployed, drug-addicted, possibly-criminal gangsters, or worse. While all the time totally ignoring their more polite, cultured, accomplished, and intelligent counterparts.
Now this issue has been debated ad nauseum, both in the blogosphere and elsewhere. The general consensus that seems to have been reached is that this is a naturally occurring phenomenon. Bad boys are subconsciously perceived by women as being “strong”; and this is some sort of innate genetic thing. Call of The Wild and all of that.
So that’s that then.
Then again, maybe not…
A few years back, I read about a study that was conducted sometime during the 70’s or 80’s. Researchers asked highschoolers from 2 different countries to choose which of their classmates they considered to be the most popular and attractive, and give reasons for their choices.
Now, one of these groups was American, and the other was Chinese (or maybe Japanese, I don’t recall exactly). The results of this survey were interesting…
The American results were as one would have expected from a Western country. The extroverted, aggressive, sporty/cheerleader types won the vote hands down.
The Asian results, however, were the exact opposite. The majority of the Asian students voted their quiet, introverted, sensitive, and intellectual classmates as being the most popular and attractive…
Their responses indicated their appreciation of these types for their reserved dignity & leadership, intelligence, and empathetic advocacy, among other things.
Now I can imagine that this has probably changed somewhat within the last 30+ years with the amount of Westernisation that has taken place in East Asia.
But the broader point here is that this suggests that attractiveness and popularity are more a result of culture and socialisation, than they are genetic. Our ideas of what we think are attractive qualities, physically and personality-wise, are informed by the messages we receive from the culture we live in, including the media.
The post-60’s Western culture has made “good” “bad” and “bad” “cool”. And the overwhelming majority of modern Western[ised] Women are psychological basketcases, wrecked by Feminism and the Cult of Entitlement that have taught them that they can do no wrong, and jaded from a lifetime (however long or short) of promiscuity in a permissive society.
They say that “water always finds its own level”. Given that so many Western Women are a psychological mess, is it any wonder that they are attracted to those Men who as just as messed up as they are?
wonderlander said
May I twitter some more here? )
This spectacular school group study reminds of a global cultural difference: the East stands on stability and harmony, the West values dynamism and unpredictability. (But how’s that the cruelest atrocities are Chinese and the craziest entertainments are Japanese? Are they unwinding this way?.. Stop, Natalia, everybody is more interested in the West & Eurasia.)))
The post-60′s Western culture has made “good” “bad” and “bad” “cool”… An excellent observation! Nowadays, any mess can be called posh, under the “postmodern principle of deconstruction”.
Still, some blame also rests on earlier cultural heritage. What first comes to my mind is the “femme fatale” model, like that cigar-factory Roma with knife-happy temper as first described in a novel dated 1845. You all know her name – Carmen. On the other hand, there is a centuries-long row of charismatic male villains and criminals, fascinating the reader (audience) with more diverse and realistic colors than “white” characters as clear and calm as cardboard. Russia has contributed many portraits to this gallery, more of swindlermen in its literature and more of adventuresses in its history.
Why, in all the times when family was valued more universally? A baddywad may lend more robust genes, but who’s gonna take responsibility required to raise the progeny?
There’s much about imprinting, inheriting flawed patterns (just answered your question at GL’s blog). When pain feels home. Like, a cold or abusive partner resembles a strict parent… And the more stress around, the more challenges to families.
“Young Lady and Hooligan” love plot became a popular cliché in Russia after the October revolution. Recently, I also wonder how many local girls (the younger, the more) gasp at the “bad boy” images. In turn, “nasty woman courses” outnumber “good woman courses” in bookstores, and male masochists outnumber any other kinks of both sexes. What’s up?
News and media deliver more and more aggression, making people grow thicker skins. Which in turn requires more shocking impulses to ever get impressed. (“Today’s stripteaser must rip off her skin to hold attention.”) And who can give a harder kick than an erratic lover. )
Time to collect stones and discard them from the heart…
Sinc., N.